Lost

I have never been lost forever
But I have felt I’d never be found
It almost seems I’ve been more lost
In the middle of a wandering
Than at a start or near its end
My mind is lost right now
I can’t remember the beginning
I can’t see an end
And I sure hope this isn’t the middle
It is just seems too far from anywhere
To be anything other than lost
I guess that is because I have always felt
That I was going somewhere
Instead of just being someplace
In the middle of what is at that moment
Where we are allowed to be real
Where we need to be real
To be found

Stillness

Still in that moment
On a path under unchecked trees
The forest view breaks
Over a clear view of the ocean
Raised land across the straight
Unchanged in my memory
Since I woke a child
Unchanged in my memory
Since I wept a man
Unchanged before me
As I see beyond it
To God’s own shoulder
This ever-present gift
Three times given
A blessing to the soul
As the wind breathes me

Tree

I cut a tree from the front garden
It was well grown and fully branched
Entwined within a taller and older neighbour
Standing too close with all of its own branches in place
And affecting none from the other’s embrace
Only 15 years old but 30 feet tall now
And together they blocked the sun

From a near distance you couldn't tell it was there
From a near distance you can’t tell it is missing
I have asked others and they don’t seem to notice
Any change to trees around the garden
But the ground below the trees has opened up
Letting dappled light fall onto rich soil
Encouraging older plants to thrive in new ways
Inviting new plants to set roots in the garden
Where dark shadows of thought
Could never welcome them before

The downed tree stands
Only as a memory now
And has made way for new life
In the garden where it stood
And the wood from the tree
Chopped and split and stacked
Offers us warmth for next winter

Outside

It might look
from the outside
that I feel sorry
for myself.
But on the inside
a child is frightened
more than spoiled.
Ashamed to have lost
the sun of the seasons
standing naked and cold.
Alone
in a rain that follows
everyone else’s leaving.
Afraid to step into danger
Afraid to not step into joy
Stuck in the headlights
of someone else’s future.
Knowing that
I have chosen an awkward
lifetime not to be a tree
where, from the outside
I might look just fine.

Ocean Music

Sitting by the ocean
Watching birds fly by
This place
That has never
Known loneliness
But in that instant
I grasped for it
A tide-washed memory
Of sitting here with another
A lonely song
Long since ended
But still playing faintly
In my frightened mind

Then drawn back
to the present music
That is playing
All around me
Soft and subtle
Unending
Waves at the beach
Carry the wind’s heartbeat
In their rhythm
While a nearby
Stream flows
Inside its own melody
And birds will never surprise
The music with their calls
While otters play

The music of this place
Never stops
Always changing
And offers no perch
For loneliness
To light

Family

Family
Is the ocean
That washes against
Our edges
It defines us
As an island
Or a peninsula
Or a mainland
But it is always
Changing with us
Eroding steep shorelines
Building soft beaches
Redistributing
Our presence
Our absence
And floating
Clouds of wonder
Across our horizon
Making us look
Beyond our own edge
While we
Seek the mountain
That shows us north
One certain place
That we are not

How Deep is the River

How deep does the river flow
With cool and precious water
Its origin and destination
Both beyond view
Lost behind forgotten bends
Hidden within our dreams
Origin and destination
Both unimportant
Compared with where I stand
Deep in a rich ravine
Where water
In the river
Is always
Flowing

Now
I stand
At a place
Where water gathers
Below the sluggish pond
To become the river again
Flowing with certainty
And unfolding
Into its
Own
Future

Welcome Home

Welcome home
How nourishing are these words for you now
How far have you wandered
Did your body carry you through a land of longing
Beyond an endless month of hunger
Did you pass through the archway of your own needing
Only to loose that need forever
Has your own love become your favorite shirt
And do you wear it every day
While walking steady toward a setting sun
Welcome home